I've finally conquered Christmas! No colored lights, wrapping paper, silver bells or stockings hung over the wood stove for me.

This is to say that after years of feeling blue at Christmas time, I have finally reached a state where- aside from the religious observances, Christmas is about as relevant to me as Guy Faulk's Day.

Now, before anyone gets all sad and misty, let me explain that most Christmases these last several years have been a trial. During those times I've almost always been far from family, working, flat broke, or combinations of the three at Christmas time. Add to that, that contrary to my wishes, I am not a father. One's home never seems so empty and lifeless as when one is over a certain age and childless on Christmas.

As for my family being far away and my being frequently broke during the Holidays- well I happily choose to live in a village with a very narrow financial base. Even with my four or five seasonal and part time jobs, the late fall and entire winter are a financial thrill ride.

Soon, if recent years are a reliable guide, monetary concerns will begin to temp me to think of my two loveable but stupid and useless dogs in the context of certain aspects of Asian cooking. I think the cat is deliberately hiding until the concept of fur gloves is somewhat less appealing.

Let me state once again, that I love living here and these little material inconveniences are a small price to pay for the privilege. (I love living here even if young Chuck in Pennsylvania thinks that living hundreds of miles from the nearest movie theater is a fatal affliction.)

Anyway, I usually can afford to give little more than good wishes for Christmas, a fact that makes me wish I could hide in the woods until spring.

So this year I've volunteered to work for the Dads at the power plant on the 25th. That way they can be with their kids, and I'll feel like I'm giving somebody something.

Truly, I keep the observance of Christmas as the birth of Christ in a glowing corner of my heart. But odd as it seems to some, and sad to others, at long last I no longer feel left out during Yuletide.

Since I'll be operating the village generators, I'll just be satisfied keeping everyone else's Christmas trees lit on the Big Day.